I guess I still love you
I guess I always will
I guess you'll always be on my mind
And I guess I'll learn to deal

With the pain of you leaving
And the pain of you being gone
The pain of never knowing
What was really going on

I don't really feel like writing poetry. It just happened. I quit writing a long time ago and erased all of my posts because I know you don't read them anymore. But fuck it. I need it. I need the vent. Because I'm still in love with you. That won't change. You can hate me, call me names, make me feel like shit, and I still love you. Why did you do this to me? I was so strong before you, such a better person. Then you consumed me and took everything away. You made me believe so much in us.. Chris I love you. You're the one I want to be with. You're the one I always want to be with. I need you. I wish you'd just be a part of my life. I'm always going to love you Chris. I miss the way we used to talk, and open up to each other. I don't know why you became this way. You're grandma walked in that day, the next you cut your hair, and then you became a dick to me, with no warning. How could you do that? You preach about maturity but you don't even know what it is anymore. You used to be a god among men. Someone I honestly looked up to. Now, all you are is the remnant of someone that I loved once, and will never let go of. God I love you Christopher. And you'll never know. You won't believe it or even give me true closure. I just need a hug. Just a god damn hug to make everything go away. And I'm never going to get that from you. Damn it Chris. I want to hate you. Why can't you make me hate you?

......I fucking love you