one year

Did you think about it?

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ya know,

I still have dreams, where you come back. You're tired of being alone or you just miss me, and you come back. And i get to hear all of those things that i miss you saying. I can actually feel you there, hold your hand, you hold me, and it feels so real. But everytime you go to say "I love you", i wake up...

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it would be nice

To be your friend again. I care about you way to much for you to be completely out of my life. Maybe one day you'll talk to me again...

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I'm pathetic

I'm worthless. I'm immature. I can't let go. I can't stay away. I can't get you out of my mind. I can't love someone else. I don't want anything else. Make me hate you. Please.

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(from the past)*Sigh*

How long 'til it happpens again? I don't expect you to stay through the weekend. I'm not worth that much. I want you to stay, I'm not pushing you away at all. I mean please, please stay. But I wouldn't be surprised if you don't. I love you baby, you're my everything. Don't do it to me again. I liked talking about cars yesterday.. A lot.. I wish our time didn't run out last night, we could've done that for hours. The last one we went over was the AE86 fyi.. I love you.. Don't go again.. Just stay this time.. Just stay..

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(from the past)Crying

It's the purest form of opening up. You can fake anything, but true tears, they come from the heart. Last night when we had those conversations, I felt like something happened. I feel like we've grown together, as a couple. We each know more about the other's love, and I know we'll never end. I hope you know that too. Chris the things I say sometimes, you have to understand I don't mean them. It's something I need to work on. And I will. I'll stop all of those mean thoughts from existing. Last night I realized something. You care. You actually don't want to lose me. You're scared of it too. Not that it will happen, but when it almost happens you stop it. I've never felt like someone was afraid to lose me. And you never will baby. I love you with all of my heart. We don't need to cry anymore. Not unless it's happy tears. :) I love you Chris. Forever and ever and always.

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(from the past) This Year

It's gonna be the greatest year ever. Because it'll be a year full of memories. We'll cuddle when it's cold and hide under the same umbrella in the rain. We'll go to the beach together and go shopping in Houston. We'll visit my family a lot and hopefully see your mom a few times. :) I want you to be in every memory Chris. I didn't like not seeing you today, that's why I didn't do anything more than lay around. I want to look back on my life and not be able to remember a time you weren't there. I want to forget about my past and not worry about the future. Everyday is going to be okay as long as I have you. I love you. :)

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